Can loneliness kill?

Dear Reader,  

The old adage of feeling lonely in a crowded room is an experience many people have. In fact, loneliness is so common that it’s become a public health issue around the world. People don’t literally die from loneliness, but it’s a risk factor that increases the likelihood of death from health conditions, especially cardiovascular disease. The good news is that there are so many ways to foster social connection to stave off loneliness and create a sense of purpose and belonging in life.  

What is loneliness?  

Loneliness is the distressing experience of feeling that your social connections are not fulfilling. It is sometimes felt alongside anger or sadness. Loneliness is different from social isolation, which is how much time someone spends alone versus how often they interact with others. Most importantly, loneliness is subjective. It’s ultimately about feeling that you aren’t getting what you need from your relationships with others, whether familial, platonic, or romantic.  

Loneliness isn’t an individual or moral failing. In fact, loneliness has been a public health concern around the world. Most recently, loneliness became even more front and center during the COVID-19 pandemic. Especially when education shifted online and students missed interacting with friends. Governments and health agencies are still looking to create policies to help create more connection among people. 

What contributes to experiencing loneliness?   

Loneliness can be experienced as a reaction to life events or can be experienced long-term. Some life events that may bring on loneliness are going through transitions like moving to a new city, attending a new school, or starting a new job. In these transitions, you might not have a strong emotional or social network in that new space which can make you feel isolated. Experiences like searching for a meaningful romantic relationship or losing a loved one can also lead to loneliness.  

There are also a few broader reasons in the U.S. that are at least partially contribute to loneliness, such as increased access to the internet and political polarization. These social factors are likely contributing to smaller social circles and an increase in distrust towards others. Research shows that people are participating less in their local communities than they have in the past. However, there’s no single factor that causes loneliness.  

 How does loneliness impact your health?  

Studies show that people who are lonely die earlier, no matter what the cause of death may be. Loneliness significantly impacts the likelihood of developing cardiovascular diseases and can bring on mental health challenges. It is also associated with a higher risk of dying from other infections or transmissible diseases like COVID-19. 

Loneliness is also associated with a greater risk of behaviors such as:  

• Smoking 
• Excess alcohol use 
• Physical inactivity  
• Poor diet 
• Sleep disturbances 
• Less adherence to medical treatment  

However, not all hope is lost; factors like social connection can positively influence health. 

Can social connection help with loneliness?  

Social connection is the antidote to loneliness. It’s how people relate to each other and improve their sense of meaning, purpose, and resilience. Social connection can be created and maintained both in real life and online. 

Social connection consists of the structure, function, and quality of relationships. Structure includes the number and variety of relationships you have and how frequently you see your people. Function relates to how you feel supported and how often you give support. There’s a popular saying that “if you want a village, you must also be a villager!” Lastly, quality is also important. How you feel in your relationships (whether they’re loving, strained, reciprocal, etc.) impacts how connected you feel.  

What are ways to become more socially connected? 

Since loneliness is about how you feel towards your existing relationships, it may be possible to create a greater sense of connection in your life. Some ways to do so include creating new relationships or nurturing old ones. It’s also possible to do this while looking for your life partner. While having a long-term partner or marriage can protect against loneliness, other relationships affect how you experience loneliness, too. 

Here are some ideas to help build social connection: 

• Picking up a new hobby, such as joining a recreational sports league, taking a cooking class, or going to a book club 

• Volunteering 

• Organizing a family vacation 

• Using social media to reconnect with old friends or alumni from your school or university 

• Joining a meetup for people in your area with similar interests 

• Online dating or attending local speed-dating events to help you in your search for a romantic partner 

You may also want to consider working with a mental health professional to explore what relationship structures matter most to you and why. In addition, it’s important to keep taking care of your physical and mental health by exercising, eating nutritious foods, and sleeping regularly as you work to nurture your social well-being. 

In good health,