How can I stop being so emotionally sensitive?

Dear Emotionally Out, 

You’re not alone in feeling emotionally sensitive. Many people feel as though they have stronger emotional responses than those around them. There may be a range of reasons for this, such as genetics, personal experiences, and other conditions. Allowing yourself to experience youremotions and understanding your emotional patterns may help make interactions with others less overwhelming. Read on for more strategies to help manage your emotions!  

Why do emotions exist? 

Humans are hardwired to experience changing emotions. This helps people identify dangerous situations, which can play a role in evolution and survival. There’s also a genetic basis for being emotionally sensitive. These qualities deepen your experience of positivity in life. They can also make you more empathic and attentive to others. 

What are some other potential causes of emotional sensitivity? 

Aside from survival, other factors that might contribute to emotional sensitivity include: 

• Being too tired to manage emotional responses to what others say and do
• Having low self-esteem and worrying about others’ perceptions of you
• Talking negatively to yourself
• Experiencing childhood trauma 
• Holding yourself to a perfectionistic standard
• Having mental health conditions, such as anxiety and depression 

List adapted from Verywell Mind 

Some people may identify as a highly sensitive person (HSP) or experience rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD). About 20 percent of people identify as a highly sensitive person (HSP). This means they feel emotions more strongly than most people. HSPs may experience both negative and positive emotions to a deeper extent. Those who experience RSD go through intense emotional pain and negative feelings that are hard to control. Similarly, these two conditions may be related to genetics, brain structure, psychological and behavioral conditions, and childhood experiences. 

Additionally, as you mentioned, age might also be at play here. Adolescents and young adults typically experience greater emotional sensitivity. The ability to regulate emotions generally increases with development. So, you may also find out that you’re better able to manage your emotions with time. 

What are some strategies to deal with unwanted emotional sensitivity? 

That said, managing emotions can help everything feel less overwhelming. You may consider using some strategies to help manage your emotions such as: 

• Practicing mindfulness: Focus on the present moment to become more aware of your emotions and how to regulate them.
• Journaling about your emotional experiences: Write down how you experienced your emotions to better understand why you had them. 
• Considering alternative interpretations of what others say or do: Challenge thoughts that you have in reaction to others. Ask yourself if other reasons could explain others’ comments and actions.
• Trying to embrace different aspects of yourself: Recognize your strengths and set boundaries with others of what you will or won’t accept.
• Shifting your attention in times of distress: Distract yourself by focusing on others rather than on your own thoughts, participating in more enjoyable activities, and doing something that leads to opposite emotions. 

List adapted from Verywell Mind 

When it comes to handling rejection, the same strategies might help you understand your reactions and deal with them better. You may ask yourself what rejections mean to you. What do you need when you feel negative about rejections? What needs are not met when you face rejection?What were your earlier experiences with rejections like? Ultimately, being kind to yourself and embracing your emotions may assist you in interacting with others more comfortably, even when rejection may inevitably come up. 

You may also consider talking about your feelings with a mental health professional. They can suggest treatment options (if necessary) to better understand what you might be going through and how to manage your emotions. By exploring your emotions further, you may begin to feel morepositive things in life and engage with others in a deeper way.  

Wishing you all the best in your journey of self-exploration,