If someone's sexually adventurous, does that mean they're more likely to cheat?

Dear Reader,  

Sexual preferences can be fluid and change over time, even in committed relationships. What’s considered normal or adventurous is often shaped by when and how you learn about sex. For some, keeping the lights on during sex can feel adventurous while others might think of adventurous as role play or using toys. That said, there’s no way to know if your partner will engage in promiscuity or cheat based on their sexual adventurousness alone.  

What is BDSM?  

BDSM stands for bondage and discipline, domination and submission, and sadomasochism. BDSM is also called kink, which refers to eroticizing power dynamics. Kink can also describe experimenting with different sensations and states of consciousness during sexual experiences.   

While people interested in BDSM may have a somewhat higher sex drive, they don't differ from others in terms of mental health, social attitudes, or how satisfied they are in relationships. In fact, those that practice BDSM often report better communication with their partners. 

However, fear of judgment may keep people from sharing their interests in BDSM. This doesn’t seem to be the case with you and your partner though, which is great! It likely means there is an opportunity to openly discuss boundaries around BDSM in your relationship.  

 Is interest in BDSM linked to promiscuity and cheating?  

While there's some research that shows a link between participating in BDSM and having multiple partners. Even if that's something your partner is curious about, it doesn’t make them more likely to cheat. Similarly, a simple interest in BDSM isn’t linked to cheating. 

What relationship factors are linked to promiscuity and cheating? 

The potential for cheating is higher in relationships with a lot of conflict, low satisfaction, and lack of communication. Other factors include low sexual satisfaction and a lack of consideration for your partner. Based on your curiosity and openness towards your partner as well as your willingness to explore her desires, it doesn’t seem like any of these factors apply to your relationship.  

However, if you’re still worried about your partner potentially cheating, consider reflecting on where these feelings might be coming from. Are there other aspects of the relationship that might be concerning you and leading you to this conclusion? Has your partner said or done anything that might make you question their commitment? By thinking through these questions honestly, you may begin to understand your suspicions more. It may also help you initiate an honest conversation with your partner about your concerns.  

How can you navigate changing sexual desires with a partner?  

Communication is important for both a compatible relationship and sexual satisfaction. From what you’ve shared, it seems you and your partner have been able to openly communicate about your sex life. It may be helpful to consider the following questions to help you both feel safe and excited about your newfound sexual adventure:  

• What feels safe for you to explore? 
• What boundaries might you have?
• How can you and your partner ensure continued communication around your sexual interests? 
• What is exciting about these changes? 
• What are you hesitant about? 

If you or your partner feels like it may be helpful to have support in navigating these conversations, you might consider working with a sex therapist, couples' counselor, or mental health professional. Open communication, combined with safer sex practices can lead to a more connected intimate life together.