Am I being teased or abused?

What is the criteria for determining if a relationship is abusive? My husband has never struck me in anger or injured me, but he is constantly poking, tickling, flicking me, etc. When I tell him to stop, he usually says, "Why should I?" and continues a little bit more. It's like a kid tormenting a little sister. He gets right in my face and sometimes pokes me in the chest while he's telling me something. There's never any anger until I get mad at him for doing it, and then he tells me he's just playing. The other night when I told him to stop poking me, he said, "I'll do whatever I want." That really bothered me. When he does get angry, he usually just ignores me, but occasionally he'll throw something (but not at me). What do you think? How can I make him understand that his "playing" is upsetting? Is this type of behavior a precursor of actual violence?


Are overcooked pasta and beans still nutritious?

I know if I cook vegetables too long, they would lose nutrients. How about pasta and beans? Do they lose their carbohydrates and proteins and other nutrients in them if I cook too long? I always cook pasta and beans for over an hour because I like nice and soft and plumed pastas and beans. Am I eating zero nutritious pasta and beans?


Is raisin bran a good source of iron?

I was recently turned away from a blood donation site for slightly low hemoglobin. I'm a menstruating woman and a vegetarian, so it wasn't a big shock. I'm trying to add more iron to my diet in the form of beans and cruciferous veggies and eggs (cooked on cast iron!), but I've run into some confusion. The pamphlet I got from the blood bank suggests raisin bran as a very good source of iron. Several health articles and studies I've found online also point to raisin bran, but others say that wheat bran inhibits iron absorption and should be avoided when trying to raise iron levels. Sometimes the conflicting information comes from the same source! Can you shed any light on this, Alice? Would a bowl of raisin bran a day help or hurt my iron intake?


Was I molested?

I really don't know what to call my situation. Some people say I was molested, others say I was sexually assaulted in the third degree, and others call it sexual misconduct. But when I was thirteen years old, I was touched by a fifteen-year-old boy on the bus for six months. I didn't want this or invite it. I would often fight and say no. He used to fondle my thighs and go into my pants. What is this called? Please e-mail me back.