Is body fat genetic?

I am a female, five feet tall and about 127 lbs. I am not satisfied with my size. I am not obsessed with weight but with the way I look. I am very strong and have plenty of muscle. It just happens to be covered by a thick layer of fat. Yes, it runs in my family. On my father's side everyone has trouble with their weight.

I am writing to you because I don't understand why I am not losing weight. I am a vegan. I have no dairy products and no fat content in my diet. Except for the occasional pat of margarine and fried falafel, I don't see why I haven't lost weight because I just cut the dairy products out about two months ago. I have been a vegetarian for 9 years. I ride a stationary bike twice a week in my target heart rate zone. I work out with weights and do calisthenics in my room every night. What is wrong? Is there another factor I am not considering? Glands? Do I just need to be patient? I like being big, I just don't want it all to be fat.

Thank You.


How can I make friends when I'm a downer?

Your advice to "Surround yourself with positive, healthy people" is good. But this is part of my insecurities. It seems that everyone will want to surround themselves with positive, healthy people; but if I'm not healthy mentally, why should people want to be around me? I fear I'm excluded because, even when I try to hide my insecurities, they still show and people don't want to be around a "downer." Any advice on this aspect?


What can I do about my food issues, exercise compulsion, and loss of bladder control?

Last year I was Teetering on the Brink and this year I've fallen off of it. The teetering individual who was worried about how much she thought about food and her weight has turned into a very scared person who has fallen off the brink, with little on her mind but what she eats, when she eats it, and how she looks. I haven't had my period for almost a year and exercise compulsively until I can't anymore, when my legs simply hurt so bad and my knees won't hold me up. Worse, I seem to be losing bladder control — several times when I've been very tired, I've wet the bed at night or been unable to wait until I got to a bathroom. I can't live like this anymore and every morning I promise myself I'm going to change but then night rolls around and I've not changed a thing. Please tell me something that will help — I never knew desperation's face was this thin.


Does your metabolism slow when you hit 30?

I'm a 22-year-old woman. Many of my friends in their late 20s and early 30s (and older) have been warning me about an inevitable metabolism slow-down and subsequent weight gain around my 30th birthday. They say, "You just wait. When I was your age, I sat around all day eating pizza and I never gained a pound. Now I can't lose weight no matter what I do."

I am sure there's some truth to this, but I DON'T sit around eating pizza all day. I run three to four times a week and eat very healthfully. Will these habits ease the slowing down of my metabolism? Or should I expect some weight gain no matter what I do (as they say will happen)?


Is it better to spread out or binge alcohol consumption?

I am a healthy, fit, 18-year-old male. I have tried both ways: consuming small amounts of alcohol regularly (one standard drink a day) and consuming a lot of alcohol irregularly (10 to 20 standard drinks in one night, but only two days a month, or thereabouts).

I have tended towards drinking a lot irregularly because I have found that I can't notice any effects until I have had at least four or five drinks, 80 to 100 proof shots, usually mixed with soft drink.

I was wondering if either way was less healthy or more of a risk as the same amount of alcohol is ultimately consumed. Also, I noticed that I got a bit more of a 'beer gut' when I had one-a-day than 15 at once; is that likely or just my imagination?


How can I build self-confidence?

I have a problem with self-confidence. Whenever a person compliments me about something, in my head, I disagree with them. This has also affected my love life. When I am in a relationship, I can't help but to ask myself, why is this person interested in me? Well, that's all I wanted to say. Please help me by giving me advice.


How can I come to terms with my adoption?

I was adopted when I was two and a half years old, and I still have a lot of issues from it. I don't really like myself and at times; I feel like I don't know who I am. I never let myself become close to my adoptive family, and still feel uncomfortable and out of place around them. I don't have many friends. I isolate a lot and don't really trust people. I am always scared to make friends for fear that I won’t be accepted or liked. Growing up I often turned to drugs and alcohol to escape these feelings and to feel comfortable with myself. The problem now is that I am 22 and I have a two year old daughter. I feel like I need to get over this so I can be a good mother to her, and raise her to know and love herself. I feel lost, what can I do?