How can I feel more comfortable with gynecological exams as a virgin?

1) I am 24 years old and still a virgin. I have health issues such as uterine fibroids. Therefore, I have to undergo certain tests like transvaginal ultra sounds and Pap smears. This bothers me as I feel very violated and feel like something has been taken from me that I can never get back. Doctors and medical technicians seem to lack concern during these situations. Mentally, I know these exams do not have an effect on my virginity, but how can I get over this feeling of being violated?

2) How soon after losing my virginity should I see a gynecologist for the first time?


Is it important to have a primary health care provider?

I've been hearing a lot about having one health care provider follow my medical history, but I'm fairly healthy and don't have a chronic disease. I've been switching from my local doctors when I'm home to the on-campus docs. Is it really that important, given that I'm a healthy individual?


Why do I, as a man, have womenly hips?

I'm a man who has been teased about the shape of his body!! How is it a man in his 20s, who is physically in great shape, has "women's" hips? I asked my doctor and he said a bunch of mumbo jumbo. They are in exact proportion to a woman sized 12 (waist, too). My wife doesn't mind it, but it really bothers me! The only thing you tell that I wasn't a woman is the fact I don't talk that high and also the breast issue (not having them).


How can I control my body hair?

I'm only 18, but I have a lot of hair on my chest. I'm afraid of letting women see me with my shirt off because I don't want them to be turned off. How can I get rid of this rug and keep it under control without shaving daily? Also, is there away to slow down my beard growth? Shaving more than once a day can be very irritating to my face, but I hate looking so dirty.


How can I improve my self-esteem?

Do you have some advice for someone suffering from low self-esteem? Some things that I struggle with: comparison of myself to others ("She is so "together!" Why am I not like that? What is lacking in me that makes her better?"), lack of faith in my abilities ("I'll never be as good as him at that — I might as well not try."), lots of self-criticizing ("Why did I sign up for this class — I should have known I couldn't handle it."), always saying yes to people or feeling like I've said the wrong thing... you get the idea. I've been feeling pretty unmotivated lately too, and I think this just adds to the problem. Can you give some advice, dear Alice?


Can I shrink my large nipples?

I am an eighteen-year-old male and I have had an embarrassing problem my entire life. My nipples are rather large and round. I'm not fat, and the rest of my body looks normal, but my nipples protrude and look very strange. I have spent much time doing every chest exercise imaginable, and although my chest muscles seem to grow, my nipples just get pushed out further. This has been a source of insecurity for me for a very long time. I am ashamed to take off my shirt in front of others. I really think that my nipples are the only thing keeping me from having a nice body. Is there anything that can be done to correct this problem?


What are my rights as a patient?

On a recent gynecological visit, I requested an HIV test. The doctor, a woman, responded with the question, "Why, too many New York nights?" I was shocked by her response, but, because I felt intimidated by her, I disregarded her remark. After I told her that I had never been tested and thought it was time, she looked at me and said, "I think you're okay." Needless to say, I did not get tested by her.

During my exam, a Pap smear, she put on her rubber gloves and then realized that she couldn't find an instrument. So she rummaged through the drawer, went to the door and turned the knob, requested something from the nurse, closed the door, and proceeded with the exam. She never changed her gloves. I was appalled, but never said anything. I don't know why, but she totally intimidated me — one of those women who seem to have all, brains, beauty family, wealth, etc.

My question to you is, do I report this woman? If so, to whom? It happened several months ago and it was outside of NY state. I appreciate any reply. Thank you.