What should I do if someone close to me disclosed they were raped?

I've been seeing this guy off and on for a few months. We're not a couple, but we're definitely more than just friends. (College is making it a bit difficult for us to actually be a couple.) But that's beside the point.

We were having a very serious discussion the other night, as he and I have already been through quite a bit. And all of a sudden he said that he was raped by one of his friends when he first started college. He's never told anyone that, except for a therapist that he saw for a while after that.

I've had female friends that have been raped (very few, thank god), and it just seems wrong to deal with him on the same level as I deal with my female friends. One, the relationship is different. Two, he's a guy, not a girl. There are obviously different sympathies that I need to give. The only problem is, I don't know how to show him that I am sympathetic towards him, that I am here for him no matter what.

Do you have any advice about how I go about this. I really want to be here for him, whether we remain friends, or become something more. Thank you for anything in advance.


Why do dairy products suddenly taste bad?

I have a weird problem that happened to me once when I was maybe 8 years old (I'm 20 now). I woke up one morning and all dairy products tasted horrible. They tasted as though they had gone bad. I'm not sure how long it lasted back then because I just stopped eating all dairy products for a couple of years — I was afraid they would taste bad, but it definitely lasted several months. When I started to have them again they tasted fine. It seems to have started again. What could possibly be the cause of this?


How can I get my girlfriend to swallow?

My girlfriend and I have been dating for a year, and I love her very much. We have a mutually fulfilling sexual relationship, and we communicate well. Recently, I told her of my fantasy of her performing oral sex on me and swallowing my sperm. She said that would be "gross," and has never brought me to climax during oral sex because she does not want me to come in her mouth. I perform oral sex for her, and I enjoy having her sexual fluids on my face and tasting them. We have discussed sexual fantasies before and have pleased each other very much. But she will still not accept my sperm in her mouth, and I feel like she does not want to accept a part of me into her body -- that she does not have the fullest desire to please me. When I first asked her to do it, I expected her to want to pleasure me, to have desire for my penis. Now, I feel like she thinks my body is not desirable. My question is: what must I do or say to make her change her mind, to make her understand how much I wish she'd do this?


Should I confront my partner about how he gave me herpes?

The man I have been seeing for six months, and with whom I have fallen in love, has transmitted genital herpes to me; I was diagnosed only yesterday with a primary outbreak — very painful, indeed. There were times when it seemed he avoided/did not want intimacy, which was often puzzling, because he was usually very interested; however, now I suspect it was because he feared infecting me. That I now know he has herpes seems to explain a lot of the "distancing" behavior, but I wish he had been open and honest with me. I have not told him yet, and my feelings are in a state of turmoil. What is the best way to approach this? I really have feelings for him, and I know he has strong feelings for me.


How should my boyfriend and I deal with money?

How do I get my live in boyfriend to take care of his part of the monthly bills and groceries without sounding like I'm more worried about money than the relationship? He gives me money for some stuff, sometimes, but I have ended up taking care of most of the monthly expenses, and I'm starting to feel resentful. He makes more money than me, although I'm more financially stable. How do I address this sensitive issue?


How can I get my boyfriend to be more punctual?

My boyfriend is always late when we have something planned. Not just fifteen minutes or so, but an hour or more! I don't know why I even wait, but I really care about him. He doesn't realize how much it bothers me. My question is, how can I get him to become more punctual?