Should I confront my partner about how he gave me herpes?

The man I have been seeing for six months, and with whom I have fallen in love, has transmitted genital herpes to me; I was diagnosed only yesterday with a primary outbreak — very painful, indeed. There were times when it seemed he avoided/did not want intimacy, which was often puzzling, because he was usually very interested; however, now I suspect it was because he feared infecting me. That I now know he has herpes seems to explain a lot of the "distancing" behavior, but I wish he had been open and honest with me. I have not told him yet, and my feelings are in a state of turmoil. What is the best way to approach this? I really have feelings for him, and I know he has strong feelings for me.


How many rest days should I take between runs?

I wanted to know how many days of rest is recommended between workouts. I heard it was three days on to one day off...is this enough? I workout on a treadmill for 50 minutes every day and have for the last 14 months. I was not aware of how rest played a very important role until I recently read a brief article on it. I guess my question is, do I need to take that day of rest and how important is it?


Why did I get a false positive HIV test?

Dear Alice,

I recently had a routine HIV screening done for prenatal labs. It was positive. Thank GOD, western blot came out to be negative. My OB is reassuring me not to worry, that false positives sometimes come out in pregnancy, and as long as the western blot is negative — I'm negative. Could you explain a little more in detail as to why and if you agree with my doctor? I'm at very little risk otherwise and had a negative HIV test about five years ago and am with the same person (my husband).


How can I strengthen my abs?

For as long as I can remember, I've been using my back muscles when I did sit-ups. In fact, I distinctly remember the first time we did them in second grade. After a few reps, it was already so painful that I was having trouble breathing properly. Being eight years old, however, I didn't realize this was a warning sign and assumed it was normal.

Flash forward ten years, and I have almost no strength in my abdominal muscles. I've tried to teach myself to do curl-ups properly, but no matter how hard I try, I can't even lift my head without using my back muscles. Exercise balls are no help either. Even when I concentrate on using my abs to keep myself steady, my back is still doing 95% of the work.

So, in short, I have two questions: Am I at risk for having damaged my back from years of abuse, and how can I work on strength training my abs now?


How can I ask my partner if they have any STIs?

I really enjoy reading your answers on these pages, but here's the question that I haven't seen addressed on your web pages or anywhere else on the Internet. Can you please suggest some appropriate ways to ask a person with whom you're about to have sex if he or she has any sexually transmitted diseases? A few months ago, I met a girl with whom I had sex... and, as I found out later, she had herpes. We did use condoms anyway, but there was still some risk in catching herpes since we didn't use condoms all the time.