How can my non-disabled girlfriend feel confident in my sexual pleasure?

I am a quadriplegic of twenty years and need help with a problem my girlfriend and I are having with our sex life. The main problem is she feels guilty because she is the only one that gets "physical gratification" when we make love. We can't have intercourse but we have tried several other methods that worked great as far as her getting an orgasm, but the guilt sets in a few minutes afterwards. I have tried many times to explain to her that I also get a lot of enjoyment from our intimate times together, but she does not believe me. She thinks the only reason I want to fool around is just to give her pleasure and this is not true. Some of it does have to do with making her feel good, but I also get much pleasure, in a more "mental" kind of way that she can not understand. We live together, love each other very much, and plan to marry in a few months, but I'm scared this problem is going to get worse if she never believes me. I feel bad about marrying her if we can't have a satisfying sex life because I feel like I'm cheating her out of that part of her life.

If there is any way you could help me with this I would really appreciate it. If you know of any books on this subject that would also be a big help.


How do I know if I'm ready for sex?

I am an 18-year-old virgin, but my boyfriend wants to have sex with me. We have been dating now for eight months, and he says he has been waiting long enough. I have this fear of having sex because of the consequences, but I try to tell myself that as long as I use protection, things like that shouldn't happen.

I'm not sure what I'm asking for; I'm not sure it's advice either. Right now I'm reasonably sure that I don't want to have sex, but this little voice (probably his) keeps asking "What's the big deal?"

I know it's not a big deal, but it's something I really believe in, and I want to wait. I only have one life to live and I want to do it right. I did a lot of things I ended up regretting, but this is really important to me. The only thing is, I have no problems fantasizing about making love to him. I just have trouble with carrying out the actual act. I really need to ask if you think my fear of sex is unnatural or just a product of the way I've been raised?

Is there any way I can get over all the horror stories of regret and painful first times and just give myself to the guy of my dreams?


How can I strengthen my abs?

For as long as I can remember, I've been using my back muscles when I did sit-ups. In fact, I distinctly remember the first time we did them in second grade. After a few reps, it was already so painful that I was having trouble breathing properly. Being eight years old, however, I didn't realize this was a warning sign and assumed it was normal.

Flash forward ten years, and I have almost no strength in my abdominal muscles. I've tried to teach myself to do curl-ups properly, but no matter how hard I try, I can't even lift my head without using my back muscles. Exercise balls are no help either. Even when I concentrate on using my abs to keep myself steady, my back is still doing 95% of the work.

So, in short, I have two questions: Am I at risk for having damaged my back from years of abuse, and how can I work on strength training my abs now?


Is it dangerous to not drink water during sport practice?

I have a question about dehydration. I am an eighteen-year-old female and play on a varsity basketball team. We usually have two-hour practices in which we work very hard. Our coach does not give us water breaks, and usually by the end of practice, we have cottonmouth and are "dying" for water. It is horrible. Is there any way that not having water during that time can be dangerous? Sometimes the team can feel sick or weak by the end of a practice.


How can I exercise with bowlegs?

I have bowlegs. It is quite frustrating because I cannot do exercises that isolate and tone the thighs (lunges, squats, etc). When I do squats, my pressure/force comes from the calves and the knees, but not the thighs. Reason being is that the legs are not properly aligned, and pressure/force cannot go up to the thighs. It even hurts when I do squats because they involve bending the (crooked) knees. Are there any alternative thigh exercises?


How far does my penis go during sex?

My new girlfriend and I had sex for the first time this weekend. Later in the evening, she was curious about something... "Where is that thing going???" she asked. She mentioned that full insertion was painful and she wanted to know what I was hitting, and "how far does it go?" Being admittedly a bit rusty on my knowledge of the anatomy of the female body, I told her that I thought it went no further than the "uvula" (whatever that is), but that I would do a little research, maybe see what I could get off the Net and get back to her.


Can I be physically active while injured?

About five days ago while I was doing step aerobics I stepped down incorrectly and injured my foot. It turns out, after seeing the doctor, that I cracked a bone on the outer side of my foot and will have to wear a boot cast for about four weeks. My question is, since I can no longer do aerobics, what other kinds of exercises can I do to help me lose weight? I already do weights, abs, and any other type of leg exercise that don't involve me standing, but I don't feel that this is enough and since I am prone to gaining weight easily, I really want to do as much as I can but in a way that I don't aggravate my injury or make it worse.